So Just Ready...

It began after high school I was engaged to be married to my 6th grade sweetheart, after we had our son we were getting married one year later. After having our son, I saw how my life was going to be with him and our kid and I knew I wouldn't be happy so I left. (obviously this is the VERY short version). After calling it off, I swear it seems like everyone around me is getting married, people close and friends of friends, my 2 best friends, Maria and Charla. Ive been ready to be married since I was 18 and and had my son, now I'm 23 and still not married, but I am with someone I love and could see spending my life with. We talk about getting married. I just well I'm just so ready to be married. SO READY. Ive wanted a family for so long and started them with the WRONG people and became a single mom of two now here I am again, but this time I'm really hoping I got it right, but I guess you don't ever know that for sure until it goes wrong. I'm in love, I've got two kids of my own and I just want the ring and the wedding, and the husband.

Love

I woke up this morning and very vaguely remember my sweetheart holding my face when he came to bed, and telling me how much he loves me, but I was already asleep so I barely remember most of it but even what I do remember makes me smile. Then when he was up getting ready for work he came back into the bedroom and told me he was laying in bed last night thinking about how much he loves me, and can't wait to marry me and how he feels so lucky, it made me just light up. I love him so much and it is always nice to hear these sweet thing and I just wanted to share it with everyone.

Finally Lost the Weight

So a couple of months ago I woke up and couldnt fit in my pants that I wore just the previous day. I tried on all my other pants that were the same size, and well couldn't even get them over my hips. I only had one pair of jeans that were one size bigger and tried them on and they fit. I couldn't believe it so from then on I was like something has to change or my weight is just going to continue going up.

I have been more active eating better and snacking less (but I still cant seem to get rid of my nightly treat... chocolate)

2 days ago I put on a pair of jeans and they came on so nicely and I looked down and realized they were the smallest pair of jeans I own! I pulled them down just to check and yup they were my smallest. I couldn't believe it and I was so happy. It felt great to not only go down one size but two!!!! Yay I am so happy and I feel great about myself and Im gonna keep it going. Thanks Dr. Oz and Kinect for tips and helping me work out at home lol being a stay at home mom its good to know I can loose weight and not even leave my house and have to find a baby sitter. :)

Photography

I have officially started my own Photography business and I am very excited about it. I have registered with the state and recieved my business cards which was so exciting. I got my camera on my birthday back in September :) which was the most exciting part of everything of course. I have the company that will be doing my prints and even got a brand new photo printer for prints up to 8x10s.

Photography is one of my passions and I am more than happy to make it my career. It has been a slow beginning because I am to the area I am living in so I have to get the word out there first and am trying to advertise as much as I can. This is what I love to do and I just need some business!!! I can't wait!

If you live in the Central Oregon area please check out my Facebook page:
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Bend-OR/Annamarie-Farrell-Photography/145038915511411

 Me and my Mom (Practice with tripod)

 My Mama

 Our Fire (I love this)

 Kids looking at the ducks

 Practicing my Photography

Christmas

When your a kid you can't imagine Christmas being fun as an adult... I have to say I think I enjoy Christmas more now then when I was a kid. I love shopping for presents for my kids. I love decorating my home and putting up Christmas lights. I love making gingerbread houses and making cookies for Santa. Most of all I enjoy seeing the look on my kids faces when they do all of these things and open there presents. I just love being a mom and I love Christmas with my kids, it wouldn't be this great without them.

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Exercise - Running

So I love to exercise, I feel so great all throughout the day when I exercise. Problem is I live where it snows. So... I either have to buy a treadmill or get a gym membership during the winter and even with a gym membership I still would have to drive in the snow to the gym (5 miles on HWY into town). I must say that the snow makes it very inconvenient for those of us that enjoy a nice jog outside. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do in place of running outside yet. I'm afraid I wont find anything. I have looked into getting a treadmill but they are so bulky, not really that expensive if you go to craigslist.I'm not sure what to do as far as exercising in my home, but I'd take any suggestions???

Depo Shot

I absolutely HATE the depo birth control shot. I am eating healthier than ever and I don't eat big portions and I don't overly snack and yet the weight keeps piling on. I was 115 lbs when I got on depo and a half a year later I'm at 127 lbs, the heaviest I have EVER been in my entire left, aside from when I was pregnant. I can't wait to get off of this shit next month.

ALSO, it makes me feel sick ALL THE TIME! I constantly have headaches, feel nausea, or just feel icky. ALL side effects of the shot. I only got it because my body rejected the IUD, I forget to take the pills, the ring falls out, and I have 2 kids and want a birth control I don't want to have to think about often. So now I'm going to try Implanon. I didn't try this before depo because I didn't like the idea of having something underneath my skin but the only side effect is spotting. Its the number one birth control besides absence and last for 3 years.

For all of you girls out there avoid depo! Even if your skinny and have a fast metabolism it still causes weight gain it freaking sucks!!!!! OH! and also I just found out causes loss of calcium in women so your suppose to take calcium pills. Too bad they didn't tell me that months ago!

Nice the weight was so easy for my body to put on now once I'm off this shit I'm gonna have to work my ass off to get back to 115 lbs... stupid shot and stupid human bodies for it being so easy to gain weight and so hard to loose it.

Final Words: Depo SUCKS! Don't use it as your birth control!!!

Firefighters Stand by and Watch House Burn!

Watch the video at this link if you haven't heard this story yet:

This just amazes me. I understand that the fire department in rural areas need help to run their facilities, but to just not come out to a fire until the neighbor calls and then to just stand their and a let a families home burn. On top of that the house in flames poses a risk to the surrounding area. Especially in rural areas with lots of trees and brush. You would think that they would've responded to the fire for the sole purpose of keeping the fire from spreading, at the very least! I am sure that there are other ways that the community can keep the fire department running without a $75 fee just so they will actually respond to your call and come try to put out your house.

The news said that the firefighters were just following the law and that by law they couldn't respond to the phone call because the family didn't pay his fee. This is such bullshit. I couldn't live with myself if I were a fire fighter and I knew that a families home was burning at that moment and I was just sitting there, I'd have so much guilt even if I was following orders.

I myself live out of town, and am surrounded by tress and brush and I can't imagine having to pay a fee for them to have to go out of town to put out a fire. I mean what happens when the trees across the street catch fire and aren't on any ones property, am I at risk because if I call and didn't pay my fee they wont come out? NO! When a fire hits around here it is put out as fast as they can get out there and put it out.

There are other ways to fund a fire department, and the fact that these people had to watch their home burn and that this inst the first time that this has happened with these conditions is absurd! One of my biggest fears is actually to loose all of mine, and my kids things in a fire and the fact that this happened really pisses me off.

Well I know I'm going on and on, unfortunately I can un-burn the families home, but this is just so sad and something needs to be done, so that this doesn't happen to anyone else.

My Love-Hate Relationship with Blankets

Love.
I can't sleep without one. It's a total comfort thing, and even when its 100 degrees outside I still need one even if its just a sheet. I try to keep it as cold in my room at night as I can just so I can cuddle in a nice blanket. In the winter I get cold very easily and basically have a blanket attached to me (I should get a snuggie). I also find that at night BEFORE bed when I'm just on the couch watching a movie, even if I'm not cold I still have a blanket to cuddle up with just to keep me comfy.

Hate.
I have a huge fear of not being able to move or get out of a blanket. At night when I am sleeping if I can't get me feet/legs out I totally freak. If a friend or anyone pins me down under a blanket for fun and I can't move, I freak. I don't really understand it because I'm just fine in crowds and in small spaces, but for some reason I literally have a panic attack if stuck in a blanket.... I know its weird.

Well there its is I LOVE blankets and I hate them out of fear....

Tinkerbell

I can't remember what version of Peter Pan its in, but in one of the movies they explain that because Tinkerbell is so tiny she can only feel one feeling at a time. I think that I am like Tinkerbell in that way. If I'm angry I'm only angry, if I'm sad I'm only sad, if I'm happy I'm only happy, I think you get the idea. I don't really understand it, but I know thats how it is.

I don't think its a good thing... I think it gets me in trouble in regards to the negative feelings, but it's who I am. I have such a hard time expressing myself as it is, I figure if I can barely show one feeling how am I suppose to share two feelings and be able to express them? Who knows.

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Weeds

I'm currently watching the 5th Season of Weeds, trying to catch up to the new season. I am almost done with the season. I'm not sure how I actually feel about the show although I enjoy watching it. I've come to the realization that it is so much like a daytime soap. There's love affairs, multiple sexual partners, murder, and just stupid decisions. Although for some reason I can't stand soaps but enjoy this show, I think the difference is that soaps have bad actors and all TOO gorgeous people, where Weeds has a wide variety of people and cultures and good acting.

I know that shows are created to entertain and therefore that would be the reason there is an over amount of Drama in the show. Sure lots of people actually have this much drama in their life, but I wonder if to this extent of going from suburban pot selling mother of two, to grow room, to working for "U-turn", to the town of Agrestic or Magestic whichever, burning down and taking her family to the border of California and Mexico to do more illegal things and getting pregnant by a Major in Mexico. Of course that's just the run down. Seems a little much especially for someone who starts of the show a widowed suburban mother. But yet again here I am watching the show and enjoying it.

I myself am a mother of two and find  myself disappointed in Nancy and how her children have turned out. I can't believe some of the things she has done. Although the woman has balls now with some of the things she has done and has become smarter in the drug world she has failed as a mother. P.S. I very much dislike the character named Celia Hodes.  Well that is my opinion of the show thus far and yes I'm going to continue to watch. Thanks for listening.

*** Ok so I just finished Season 5 and you can add son is now a murderer to this endless list of drama. sure the bitch Pilar deserved what she got big time, but still a 14 year old killing someone, yup add it to the list.

Blog #1

I started this blog to share my thoughts and opinions, I'm not going to get into any big thoughts tonight only because i have to put my kids and myself off to bed. I hope everyone enjoys and I encourage comments.